Part of my absence is the fact that I’ve been pulling 50+ hour weeks. Hell, I’ve worked 58 hours in the last 7.
The other part of it is the sudden existential plummet my thoughts took when my thoughts on the sex/gender conundrum reached the end of everything. I don’t know how to describe it, but it feels like standing on the cliff of the universe and I literaally feel like my thoughts have nowhere to go from here. It’s a bit surreal, and somehow upsetting.
Also, the sheer amount of nothing I feel all the time. I feel devoid of everything. It’s almost hard to care. I’m having trouble even trying to muster caring about people I know that I care about. Sorry, I guess.